Diotrephes’ Pride: Dangers of Selfishness and Lessons for Today

Diotrephes appears only briefly in the Bible. His actions in 3 John 9-10 warn about the harm selfish ambition can cause in a church.

He refused to welcome fellow believers and rejected the authority of the apostle John. He also spoke maliciously against others.

Diotrephes’ Pride: Dangers of Selfishness and Lessons for Today

His pride and desire for control show how self-centered leadership can damage relationships and hinder the work of the gospel.

A proud man in ancient robes stands apart from a group of distressed people inside an old stone building, symbolizing selfishness and exclusion.

This short passage contrasts Diotrephes with faithful servants like Gaius and Demetrius. They showed hospitality and humility.

By naming Diotrephes, John made it clear that pride in leadership is a serious threat to a community’s health. The problem was not only what Diotrephes believed but how he treated others.

The account invites anyone involved in ministry or church life to consider how pride can creep in unnoticed. It also challenges leaders to follow the example of humility and service that Jesus taught.

Overview of 3 John 9-10 and Diotrephes’ Actions

In 3 John 9-10, the Apostle John addresses a church dispute involving Diotrephes. One man’s pride and rejection of authority disrupted fellowship and hospitality among believers.

The passage also contrasts his conduct with the faithfulness of others in the same congregation.

Context of the Third Epistle of John

The Third Epistle of John is the shortest book in the New Testament. The Apostle John wrote it as a personal letter to a believer named Gaius.

He commends Gaius for his hospitality and faithfulness. This letter emphasizes support for traveling Christian workers.

In the first century, such workers relied on local believers for lodging, food, and resources. Gaius welcomed them.

Not everyone in the church shared this attitude. John also addresses the problem of rejecting apostolic authority.

Diotrephes refused to acknowledge John’s leadership. This rejection was not just a difference of opinion but a direct challenge to the authority of an apostle chosen by Christ.

Summary of Diotrephes’ Behavior

John describes Diotrephes as someone who “loves to be first.” This phrase points to pride and a desire for control.

According to 3 John 9-10, Diotrephes ignored John’s written instructions. He refused to welcome fellow believers sent by him.

Instead of showing hospitality, he spoke against the Apostle John with malicious words. The Greek term for “prating” means idle or harmful talk, suggesting his accusations were unfounded and damaging.

Diotrephes also prevented others from offering hospitality. Those who tried to help were removed from the church.

This shows a pattern of exclusion that went beyond personal disagreement. It disrupted the mission of the church.

His actions illustrate how selfish leadership can block the work of the Gospel and harm relationships among believers.

Contrast With Gaius

In the same letter, Gaius is praised for walking “in the truth.” He showed generosity toward traveling ministers.

John commends him for showing love not only to friends but also to strangers. Gaius’ example stands in direct opposition to Diotrephes’ behavior.

Where Diotrephes rejected and excluded, Gaius welcomed and supported. This difference highlights the values John wanted the church to follow.

By supporting those who spread the Gospel, Gaius strengthened the mission of the early church. His actions aligned with the teaching of Christ and the authority of the apostles.

The Nature and Consequences of Diotrephes’ Pride

Diotrephes showed a pattern of behavior that placed himself above the needs of others. His actions reveal how pride and self-centered leadership can harm relationships and create division within a local church.

Love of Preeminence

The Apostle John wrote that Diotrephes “loves to be first” (3 John 9). He sought recognition and control rather than serving humbly.

This love of preeminence was not about healthy leadership. It was about status and authority.

He refused to accept the authority of the apostles and rejected their instructions. Instead of valuing cooperation, Diotrephes acted as if the church existed to elevate him.

His desire for prominence reflects a spirit of Diotrephes—a mindset that sees leadership as a personal throne rather than a place of service.

Such pride can quickly turn a leader into a gatekeeper. This is dangerous because it shifts focus from Christ to the leader’s own image.

Self-Seeking Attitude

Diotrephes’ behavior showed a self-seeking nature. He not only refused to welcome traveling believers but also stopped others from doing so.

According to biblical accounts, he even removed members who disagreed with him. This was not simply a difference in opinion but an abuse of position.

By acting this way, he placed his own preferences above the mission of the church. A self-seeking leader often measures decisions by personal benefit rather than the good of the community.

In Diotrephes’ case, the result was exclusion and fear. When leaders act in this way, they create an environment where people are hesitant to speak or serve.

The church becomes centered on the leader’s will rather than God’s Word.

Impact on the Local Church

The local church under Diotrephes faced broken fellowship. His rejection of apostolic authority and his divisive actions caused mistrust among believers.

Hospitality, a core value in the early church, was replaced with control and suspicion. Those who wished to welcome fellow Christians were silenced or expelled.

This kind of leadership damages unity. Pride and authoritarianism can weaken a church’s witness to the world.

A church influenced by the spirit of Diotrephes risks losing its focus on love, humility, and service. Instead, it becomes a place where fear and division overshadow the gospel message.

Rejection of Apostolic Authority and Slander

A proud man turning away from a group of humble apostles approaching him in an ancient gathering place.

Diotrephes’ actions in 3 John 9-10 show a clear pattern of resisting the authority given to the apostles by Christ. He rejected the Apostle John’s instructions, spread false accusations, and blocked the work of trusted Christian workers.

These choices harmed the unity and mission of the early church.

Refusal to Accept Apostolic Teaching

The Apostle John wrote to the church expecting his teaching to be received as authoritative. Diotrephes refused to acknowledge this authority and showed open disregard for the role of the apostles.

In 3 John 9, John states that Diotrephes “loves to be first.” This desire for preeminence likely fueled his rejection of apostolic teaching.

By refusing to receive John’s letter or instructions, Diotrephes set his own leadership above the apostles. Such defiance was more than a personal disagreement; it was a rejection of the foundation of Christian leadership at the time.

This rejection disrupted church order and created division among believers.

Slander Against John and the Apostles

Diotrephes did not stop at ignoring John’s authority. He also spread malicious talk about him and the other apostles.

John records in 3 John 10 that Diotrephes made “wicked nonsense” against him. This slander discredited John in the eyes of the congregation and strengthened Diotrephes’ own control.

Speaking falsely about an apostle was a serious offense. It attacked the credibility of those entrusted to teach the truth.

Slander in this context was not casual gossip. It was a deliberate act to undermine trust in apostolic leadership.

By spreading lies, Diotrephes created suspicion and division. This made it harder for the church to follow the true teaching of Christ.

Such behavior mirrors tactics still seen when leaders seek power by tearing others down.

Undermining Apostolic Leadership

Diotrephes’ actions went beyond words. He refused to welcome fellow believers sent by John and even stopped others from doing so.

By blocking hospitality to these workers, he prevented the apostles’ representatives from teaching and encouraging the church. This directly challenged apostolic authority and the mission of spreading the gospel.

Such interference weakened the connection between the local church and the broader Christian community. It also discouraged members who wanted to obey John’s guidance.

The pattern shows how one person’s pride and control can hinder the work of many. It also highlights the importance of recognizing and supporting legitimate spiritual leadership.

Failures in Hospitality and Church Discipline

A proud man stands with crossed arms in a small church, while other members look troubled and excluded, showing conflict and division among them.

Diotrephes’ actions in the church showed a pattern of pride and control. His refusal to welcome certain believers and his removal of others from fellowship damaged relationships and weakened trust among members.

These choices also disrupted the work of spreading the gospel.

Withholding Hospitality From Missionaries

Hospitality played a key role in supporting early Christian work. Traveling missionaries and itinerant preachers depended on local believers for food, shelter, and encouragement.

Diotrephes refused to welcome these workers, even though the apostle John encouraged such support. His rejection opposed the mission of the church and hindered gospel workers.

According to 3 John 1:9-10, Diotrephes ignored apostolic instruction and blocked others from offering hospitality. He discouraged members from helping those who taught the truth.

This lack of hospitality sent a public message that these workers did not deserve support. It also set a poor example for how a leader should treat faithful servants of God.

Excommunication of Supporters

Diotrephes went further than withholding hospitality. He removed from the church those who wished to welcome and assist missionaries.

This excommunication did not follow biblical church discipline, which aims to correct sin and restore fellowship. Instead, he punished members for showing kindness and obedience to God’s Word.

As noted in commentary on 3 John, Diotrephes used his position to silence and isolate those who disagreed with him. This misuse of authority created fear among the congregation.

Faithful members who wanted to obey God’s call to hospitality faced the threat of losing their place in the community. This discouraged open discussion and healthy accountability within the church.

Consequences for Church Unity

These actions had lasting effects on church unity. When leaders act with selfish motives, trust between members breaks down.

By rejecting missionaries and removing their supporters, Diotrephes created division. Members had to choose between loyalty to him or obedience to apostolic teaching.

The example of Diotrephes shows how pride and misuse of church discipline can fracture relationships. It also reveals how a leader’s personal ambition can overshadow the mission of the church.

Lessons for Church Leadership and Christian Conduct

A church leadership meeting where a proud man sits arrogantly while others around him show concern and disagreement inside a traditional church setting.

Leaders in the local church shape the health of the community through their attitudes and actions. Pride, selfish ambition, and a refusal to serve can harm relationships and weaken trust.

The Danger of Selfishness in Leadership

In the early church, Diotrephes showed how self-centered leadership can damage unity. According to 3 John 9-10, he refused to welcome fellow believers, rejected apostolic authority, and expelled members who disagreed with him.

Selfishness in leadership often places personal control above the mission of the church. It can silence needed voices and discourage service.

A pastor who seeks recognition over service risks turning the church into a platform for personal gain. This leads to division and mistrust.

Leaders must measure decisions by how they serve the congregation, not themselves.

Importance of Humility and Service

Jesus Christ modeled servant leadership by placing the needs of others above His own. In the local church, humility allows leaders to listen, admit mistakes, and work with others toward a shared goal.

Humility is not weakness. It is strength under control, choosing to serve rather than dominate.

A humble pastor invites cooperation and builds trust. Practical ways to show humility include:

  • Listening before making decisions
  • Sharing credit for successes
  • Admitting fault when wrong
  • Serving quietly without seeking praise

When leaders follow this pattern, they reflect the values of the early church and strengthen the body of Christ.

Guarding Against the Spirit of Diotrephes

The “spirit of Diotrephes” describes an attitude that demands loyalty to self over loyalty to truth. As noted in leadership lessons from 3 John, it rejects accountability, silences opposition, and hinders fellowship.

Church members and leaders should watch for warning signs:

  1. Refusal to work with others
  2. Rejection of biblical correction
  3. Punishing those who disagree

Guarding against this spirit requires openness to counsel, respect for biblical authority, and commitment to unity. Leaders who welcome accountability protect the church from harm and keep the focus on Christ’s mission.

Applying the Warnings of 3 John 9-10 Today

Pride and selfish ambition can damage relationships and hinder the mission of the church. When leaders reject accountability and refuse to follow sound teaching, the result is division and harm to the body of believers.

Modern Examples of Self-Seeking Leaders

Some leaders today act much like Diotrephes, seeking position over service. They may ignore wise counsel, resist correction, or silence those who disagree.

This can lead to a culture of fear instead of unity. In some churches, leaders misuse authority to control decisions without input from others.

They may limit who can serve or speak, much like Diotrephes refused to welcome traveling teachers. Signs of self-seeking leadership include:

  • Rejecting biblical correction
  • Suppressing healthy discussion
  • Placing personal goals above the church’s mission

When members see these patterns, they may need to follow biblical steps for church discipline to protect the flock and restore health.

Encouraging Biblical Hospitality

In 3 John, Gaius is praised for welcoming and supporting faithful workers. Hospitality here is more than sharing a meal—it is providing care, encouragement, and resources for those spreading the gospel.

Christians can practice this by opening their homes, giving practical help, and praying for missionaries or teachers. Even small acts, like providing transportation or meals, can strengthen ministry.

Hospitality also means welcoming believers from different backgrounds. This reflects the unity Jesus prayed for and guards against the pride that isolates.

The theme of Christian hospitality in 3 John shows that generosity builds trust and advances the work of the gospel.

Upholding Apostolic Teaching in the Church

John rebuked Diotrephes for rejecting apostolic authority. Today, this means holding to the teaching of Scripture and the message passed down from the apostles.

Churches must guard against replacing biblical truth with personal preferences or popular opinion. One way to uphold apostolic teaching is through regular Bible study and teaching directly from the text.

Leaders and members should test all messages against Scripture. When disputes arise, the church should follow the example of the apostles.

They should seek clarity from God’s Word and apply it with humility. This keeps the focus on Christ’s mission rather than personal ambition, as warned in 3 John 9-10.