A Bud That Could Not Bloom (A True Story)

By Karuna Roy

A flower bud unfolded in the garden. It was so tender, so pink, so soft, and so very beautiful. The gardener and his wife could not help but admire it. It was the first bud of their garden, and it was so beautiful! They were a proud couple, and their pride was shared by other members of the family – theirs was an extended family that included both sides.

This is the story of Shruti, the gorgeous baby born to the Shuklas. After being married for eight years, this couple was blessed with a baby girl. What joy! She was their treasure. Then one day she stood up, and walked and walked and walked. She was now partly independent. Then came the stage in her life when she was in school, and growing fast. Time was flying by. The bud started growing bigger and even more beautiful. It stood on the threshold where it was about to bloom into a beautiful flower when melancholy struck.

Shruti tested HIV-positive.

Several months ago, the HIV/AIDS team of the Church of North India (CNI), a project of CNI's Synodical Board of Health Services, visited Shruti's school to conduct an HIV/AIDS awareness programme. Shruti had many queries for our team once the programme finished. She wanted to ask me all these questions right away, but since it was held in her school she did not want to look obvious. In India, as in many other countries, communities ostracize people who are believed to have contracted HIV/AIDS. So the school principal was taken into confidence, and arranged for a quiet place on the school campus for Shruti and me to talk.

She said she was in Grade 7 when her uncle – her father's younger brother – had begun abusing her. She was afraid of her father, so she was not willing to share this problem with him, or anyone in her family, not even her mother. Now, however, she was worried that she might be HIV-positive.

Shruti was hesitant at first, but after a while, when she felt comfortable, she began to speak. She said she was in Grade 7 when her uncle – her father's younger brother – had begun abusing her. She was afraid of her father, so she was not willing to share this problem with him, or anyone in her family, not even her mother. Now, however, she was worried that she might be HIV-positive. Our team's presentation had raised the subject of HIV/AIDS in connection to multiple sex partners. And Shruti knew that her uncle had had sex with another woman.

One night she had gone out from her room to get a glass of drinking water, and heard sounds coming from the kitchen. When she peeped in, she found that the same uncle was having sex with the maid of the house. It was shocking and sickening, but she did not realize the seriousness behind it till she heard us speaking about HIV/AIDS.

Shruti had to be taken for a blood test. The problem was shared with the school principal, who, fortunately, was extremely cooperative. When the results came back Shruti tested positive. After three months a second test was taken, and she again tested positive. This confirmed that Shruti was HIV-positive.

The news was then communicated to the parents, who initially reacted very aggressively. It was a natural response. Gradually they accepted the results. One of their reactions was to end Shruti's schooling. The principal was willing to let her continue at the school and to maintain confidentiality about her HIV status, but her parents withdrew her.

Her uncle then had to go in for a test, and then the maid, and finally the husband of the maid, who came from a slum neighbourhood, and was found to be dying of AIDS. The uncle and the maid both tested positive too. What a vicious circle this was!

The maid's husband died. Then the maid. And then the uncle perished too. Shruti hung on to life through all of this, but gradually found it slipping away from her clutches.

I started visiting the family. They had shifted from their neighbourhood to another locality to live in a rented accommodation. It wasn't easy. It was their ancestral home that they had left. But they did not want the neighbourhood to know anything about this situation.

I started visiting the family. They had shifted from their neighbourhood to another locality to live in a rented accommodation. It wasn't easy. It was their ancestral home that they had left. But they did not want the neighbourhood to know anything about this situation. They left on the pretext that once everything was over they would return.

Shruti had been in and out of the hospital. The parents were reluctant to take her to the hospital anymore lest the neighbours suspect. Their family doctor was then taken into confidence, and, like me, the doctor gradually became a part of their family.

The bud was drying. It was surrounded by fencing, very protected but all in vain.

On July 27, 2004 everything was over. Shruti is no more. I was with her family at her cremation. A beautiful body which should have been wrapped in velvet was wrapped in polythene and put on the pyre. The bud that should have bloomed dried and withered.

I found a beautiful person in Shruti. She never complained. She used to talk with me for hours. Every Saturday I visited her. She would wait for me. I watched her year after year growing weak and pale. She was now totally confined to bed.

One day she said to me, “Aunty, I will go to God before you go, and I will send blessings to you so that you may continue living in this world with a long life to look after people like me.” Talking to her and being with her has given me a lot of courage to face people with HIV/AIDS, but I pray to God that no one will have to face what Shruti faced.

Mrs. Karuna Roy is coordinator of the HIV/AIDS Programme of the Church of North India's Synodical Board Of Health Services. Based in New Delhi, she may be reached by email at roykaruna13@rediffmail.com .

Note: To maintain confidentiality, the names have been changed in this article.