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Children in Khayelitsha
attending an Anglican school
The
Death of an AIDS Baby
by Linda Van Duuren, with Rachel Mash
Ron Hermanson from the U.S. talks with
Nomakhula Williams, an AIDS project director in Khayelitsha township. |
By May 2002, 190,993 South African babies had been orphaned by HIV/AIDS.
The Fikelela Children's Centre is an initiative of the Anglican
Diocese of Cape Town to bring hope into the lives of some of these
little ones.
The word Fikelela translates
to English as "reach out," and our goal is to reach out to AIDS
orphans and HIV-positive children. We provide an emergency short-term
home for these children, and from our Centre we try to identify long term
foster homes. We can look after 12 children at a time, and since the Centre
opened in June 2002, we have cared for 37 children. Sadly, two little
ones have died, and the others have gone on to foster care homes.
We want to expand our foster
care program by identifying and supporting caring Christian homes. We
are also looking at providing school fees for older AIDS orphans who are
caring for younger siblings. There are seven churches at present who are
running support groups for HIV+ people, providing spiritual and nutritional
support, and income generating opportunities.
The following letter was shared
with us on Sunday, May 19th by a local Capetonian woman named
Linda Linda Van Duuren.
She had attended a funeral that day for a baby named Simone who had died
one week previous, and is one of the two children we have lost.
Today I was fetched at 8:30am
and taken by the Reverend Rachel Mash to the Fikelela Centre in Mandela
Park in Khayelitsha. We were to attend a memorial service for little
Simone who died last Sunday morning at some time between 6:30 and 7:00.
Simone had been in the Centre for the best part of her short life, having
reached the age of three months. When we got to the Centre I was greeted
by various women, was offered coffee or tea, and we sat chatting for
a while.
Reverend Thobela came in,
and the singing began. I looked towards the little playroom area and
noticed, for the first time, the tiniest white coffin with shiny handles,
a lovely bouquet of flowers, and a photograph of a little child. The
woman next to me shifted closer, and as I looked around I noticed that
there were mainly women and a few men. We were of all race groups, some
could sing the Xhosa songs… the rest of us hummed or stood in silence.
Reverend Thobela spoke
to us in Xhosa and then he spoke to us in English. He told us of the
hope that there was in our being there, together, standing together,
in community, against "the new struggle." He said that looking at us
all there, he saw the whole South African nation, and he believed that
if we stood together as we were there today, that we could bring hope.
I was deeply moved by the
way in which he made me feel welcome by including me among this common
spirit that we share as South Africans… and by the common spirit
that we share as women — for he said that they have a tradition
of saying that "a woman does not have a child; the community of women
have that child." It was so true for today. He said that we must not
judge people whose lives have come to what they have come to; we must
know that what we see is often at the end of a very painful road.
When
we got to the cemetery we waited again… next to rows
of little crosses, all recent burials… Eventually [the
parents] arrived: a very young Coloured woman, her husband
and a granny. Clutched in his hand was a little fluffy bear.
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After a while, he said that
unfortunately the birth parents had not arrived and we would have to
go on to the cemetery. He reminded us again not to judge, but to remember
that this may be because they can't face this final thing. The social
workers present had gone to try to find them.
We got into the cars and
proceeded to the Khayelitsha Cemetery. In the car with us were three
older women. I later learnt that they were women from the neighborhood
who had come along to support the people of the Centre as they buried
this little child. They chatted about how good it was that the Centre
was there and that these women are able to care for these children in
the way that they do.
When we got to the cemetery
we waited again… next to rows of little crosses, all recent burials.
We waited and we sang. Reverend Mash tried to contact the parents on
a cell phone while we waited and sang. Eventually they arrived: a very
young Coloured woman, her husband and a granny. Clutched in his hand
was a little fluffy bear.
When Thobela had given the
father an opportunity to speak and the grave was covered over, the mother's
distress became evident. Reverend Mash spoke so gently and lovingly
to her, encouraging her to not give up hope for her life, and thanking
her for giving baby Simone to the Centre for other people to love and
care for. The Teddy was placed into the grave by the young father —
the first visible action that made the personal history between these
three people, Simone and her parents, evident.
…the
picture that will stay with me forever are the tears of a young
mother holding her baby on her lap, watching the funeral of
another baby in process. As the young mother cried, her little
child was trying to catch her tears and give her kisses on her
mouth in the way only a mother and a child can kiss.
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I wanted to tell you about
today's experience in my life for so many reasons, but the picture that
will stay with me forever are the tears of a young mother holding her
baby on her lap, watching the funeral of another baby in process. As
the young mother cried, her little child was trying to catch her tears
and give her kisses on her mouth in the way only a mother and a child
can kiss.
As she cried, I wept…
for I felt so closely connected to the horror of this devastating illness.
The horror of waiting in line to bury your own child, the horror of
waiting in line to be buried before your own child. The sound that will
stay with me forever is the voices of the women singing: singing for
the child they had cared for, who was not their own child, but who was
a child who was not to be cared for by her birth-mother. For her birth-mother
suffered from psychiatric illnesses that made her unable to care for
her. The feeling that will stay with me is the sense of belonging in
a common humanity that surpasses languages, cultures, backgrounds. And
that they are doing hope in Khayelitsha at that tiny place of Fikelela.
Amidst the hopelessness of the HIV/AIDS pandemic, they are doing mutual
care and hope.
Take care, Linda
The Rev. Rachel Mash shows the new home of St. Michael
& All Angels’ Anglican Church. |
The Rev. Rachel Mash is
rector of St. Michael & All Angels’ Anglican Church in the Harare
neighborhood of Khayelitsha township, a community outside of Cape Town,
South Africa. Her church coordinates the work of the Fikelela Children's
Centre. Rachel may be reached by email at rmash@mweb.co.za.
Donations to Fikelela are warmly accepted, and may be made through Grace
Cathedral in San Francisco CA (contact the office of the Canon Bursar
at tonyl@gracecathedral.org
for more information).
Related
Links:
The Rev. Ted
Karpf has served as an Episcopal missionary in southern Africa for the
past year focused on the Church’s response to the HIV/AIDS epidemic.
Click here to listen to a RealAudio webcast of his June 9, 2002 sermon
on the challenges of this critical ministry, AIDS
and Hope in Southern Africa.
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