Let's Be Precise about Using the Word "Homophobia"

By Bill Fleener, Sr.

I believe that the word "homophobia" is a technical term, relating to a fear of gay and lesbian persons that is not a matter of choice, but is somehow ingrained in a person's personality, in the same way some are "phobic" about heights, crowds, germs, etc. As such, I believe that we need to be very careful not to use the word "homophobia" (or its cognates) in a way that attributes guilt to a person. Sin and guilt require free choice.

I do believe that homophobia and xenophobia (fear of that which is strange) lie at the core of the reactions, to lesbian and gay persons, of some of our brothers and sisters in Christ. I don't think there is any more "guilt" on their part than there is for persons who are phobic about crowds and simply cannot fulfill their responsibility to worship God every Sunday in a congregation.

In my opinion there are some persons in leadership positions in this church who truly are phobic about persons whose sexual orientation makes it impossible for them to respond sexually to persons of the opposite sex.

When I see postings [on email listserves] from someone that, to my eye, appear to cling unreasonably to portions of Holy Scripture and tradition that I think have been countered by holy reason and historical and linguistic arguments, I have to wonder whether or not there is something driving that clinging that is not under the volitional control of the writer.

I think that part of our problem currently is that there are a lot of people among us who, while not truly xenophobic, simply dislike change of any kind. When they hear declarations against LGBT persons that come from phobic persons in positions of authority, they climb on the bandwagon . . .

I think that part of our problem currently is that there are a lot of people among us who, while not truly xenophobic, simply dislike change of any kind. When they hear declarations against LGBT persons that come from phobic persons in positions of authority, they climb on the bandwagon, not knowing (or perhaps not caring) that their companions on the wagon are being driven by real homophobia and/or xenophobia. In a lot of cases these choices do not rise to the level of "conscious and knowledgeable" that are required for defining their actions and words as sinful, so they, and their phobic leaders truly are not guilty of harboring hatred or disgust.

Perhaps because of what may have been phobic persons in leadership positions, the calls, over the past several triennia, for dialog with gay and lesbian persons went unheard, so the "strange" has not become the "familiar," and the "change" has not become the "common." To the extent that the lack of response to the dialog was the result of phobic leadership, the failure to respond is probably not sinful.

In my understanding, however, some, if not all, phobias are subject to treatment, with varying degrees of success. As always, seeking treatment has some prerequisites: recognizing a process going on within a person that is not under the person's control ˆ deciding that this particular lack of control is undesirable ˆ desiring to regain control. Not seeking that treatment only becomes sinful when the person so afflicted becomes aware of the conflict between his or her actions and words and the commandment to love others as we love ourselves, but decides not to seek help because, like the character Fonzie on "Happy Days," he/she is unable or unwilling to say, "I was w . . . I was wr . . . I was wron . . . "

The proper word to use for the actions of persons who freely choose to discriminate against gay and lesbian persons is "heterosexism," which is a fairly new word in our language, at least to me. I think it is a good word, and describes a real problem -- another kind of deliberate holding onto power that is unearned and undeserved, but possessed and desired. Actions, thoughts and words based on heterosexism can be clearly as sinful as actions, thoughts and words based on a lot of other "isms" can be. However, all of the same conditions apply -- conscious, deliberate, having free alternatives, etc. -- before we can assume there is sin and guilt.

I can recognize an action or word that I believe is characterized by and driven by heterosexism. What I cannot do, however, is to know whether or not that action or word is sinful.

I can recognize an action or word that I believe is characterized by and driven by heterosexism. What I cannot do, however, is to know whether or not that action or word is sinful. I cannot know from outside the actor or speaker whether the action or word is a free and deliberate choice or is driven by a phobia (either recognized or unrecognized).

I try very hard not to judge others. At the same time, I try to determine what within me is driving me to work as hard as I can to help our beloved church to be fully open to the gifts and ministries of our LGBT brothers and sisters and to their faithful relationships. So far, I continue to believe that "what within me is driving" that working is the moving of the Holy Spirit and my will to love others the way I love myself. I love myself enough to put more and more of myself into all the elements of a marriage, now 42+ years old and growing, in which Judy and I continue to be amazed that we can continually be more in love, more in union, more exposed to each other than we were last week, last month, last year, last decade . . .

I deeply desire such relationships for everyone who is not specifically called to celibacy. I cannot imagine that God would, or that God has, issued a blanket call to celibacy to 3% - 5% - 10% (or whatever) of the human race.

Love, in Christ,

Bill Fleener, Sr.

The Rev. Bill Fleener, Sr., is an Episcopal priest in the Diocese of Western Michigan. Retired from parish ministry, he has served for many years as business manager of the Episcopal Women's Caucus. Bill may be reached by email at bill.fleener@oceana.net

An additional perspective on the theme of "heterosexism" may be found in the "position paper" written by Witness contributing editor Katie Sherrod for the 2003 General Convention. A PDF format version of this two-page paper may be downloaded for free from our website HERE.